Its mostly my fault

After I was divorced from my first wife and after several months of adjusting (not a good time), I entered the dating candy store. My favorite candy store was PWP (Parents Without Partners). It was a very well run organization. There were activities almost every night of the week. Usually you could just show up at the last minute. Perfect for singles who were always hopeful that something better would come along. Most of the women were in their 30's and were horny. I dated many of the women from PWP. I was looking for companionship and sex. One of the women, lets call her D, and I dated for a long time. We were both dating others but soon we were each others main relationship. I grew to care and to love her. There was just one problem, her kids. Well the kids were not the problem as they were nice well behaved. The problem was me. I did not feel I could be a good dad to them. I felt that I did poorly with my own, and this thinking was reenforced by my ex, and I though that for D and her kids she should find a better man. She kept telling me that I would be good for her and her kids but I thought I knew better. So I push her out of my life. I continued to date from the PWP candy store and I stayed careful not to get too close to anyone with kids at home. I knew I needed to move on to other places to meet women. I meet a woman, lets call her M, who's kids were grown and gone. M was a very nice person and a lot of fun to be with. My kids loved her. Everything was good except she smoked and she had no interest in quitting. I pulled back from that relationship. Latter, I met a woman who seemed to be a good match for me. No kids and did not want any, good job, non- smoker, and her own person. She was a bit reserved when it came to sex but it seemed to be OK. We drifted into exclusive dating and ended up married. She was the one who wanted to get married and I said OK. The marriage was fine for a few years but started going down hill when she, seemly to me, would get very mad with me over a trivial thing. A few years of this sucks the love and passion out of a marriage. The sex just tapered off. Then a few of years ago the Doc put me on high blood pressure medicines. Now I can't get a good stiff erection and Viagra does not help. So now I can't have sex even if I wanted to with my wife. For my wife sex is about penetration only as she does not like oral sex, giving or receiving. My wife found out about 6 months ago that she was bi-polar. She now is on meds for this and things are a lot Calmer. But its too late for me. All the sex I get now is from my hand.

I hope that this Valentine's day finds you in the embrace of someone you love and who loves you. I especially wish this is true for D and M.