My memory of D

I first met D while attending a PWP (Parents Without Partners) meeting. This gathering was intended to provide help to newly divorced persons. Of course I was there mostly to meet women. One woman looked very sad and for some reason I was drawn to her. I talked to her during the mixer after the program and we exchanged phone numbers. We soon went on our first date. I don't remember for sure which date was THAT date, but it was one of the first few dates. I am not sure what we did on THAT date, maybe we went to a movie, but I do remember what happen after we got back to her house and the babysitter left. We were standing inside her entranceway kissing good night. The kisses kept getting hotter and hotter. I slipped my hand down her blouse and under her bra. After playing with her breasts a bit she lead me back into the living room and we started making out on her sofa. I started removing her clothes and she was helping me remove mine. Soon we were doing what men and women have done forever. Things progressed from there. Until we were dating exclusively.

D was a petite blond with a pretty smile and kind eyes. Her breasts were very small and her bottom was a bit bigger for her frame, but oh how I loved watching her walk from behind. She had the sweetest tasting sex of any of the women I was ever with. And, oh yes, the sex was great as she was a very passionate person.

I grew to care and to love her. We would spend weekends together as a family and after the kids were down for the night we made sweet passionate love together. Sometimes while her kids were playing we would sneak off into the bathroom and she would pull down her pants and I would take her from behind. Oh the fun of it. It was time to move the relationship to the next level. But there was one major thing that bothered me, her kids. Well the kids were not the problem as they were nice and well behaved. The problem was me. I did not feel I could be a good stepdad to them. I felt that I did poorly with raising my own kids and I was inadequate as a husband. This thinking was reenforced and maybe caused by my ex. So I though that it would be best for D and her kids for her to find a better man. She kept telling me that I would be good for her and her kids but I thought I knew better. So I push her out of my life. Now that I am older and hopefully wiser I think I may have made the wrong decision. I missed out on the joy of raising a baseball player want-to-be and a cute sweet daughter as well as having a passionate wife and lover. Maybe. Who knows. Many things look better in one's memory. But the memories I have are very sweet and there will always be a special spot in my heart for her.

I do wish I could be in contact with her to see how her life is. But I don't think it will happen. She married and moved to the west coast. I don't know her new last name or even if she is still married. I do visit that town once-in-a-while and I do keep a look out for her. But what is the chance?

I do hope she is happy with her life.