SunsetMan
I am just a man who is looking at the sunset of my life. The blazing daytime heat is being replaced with the coming coolness of the evening. The colors of the western sky are the memories of my life, the reds of hot times, the blues of good times. As the sun sinks into the night, the heat of doing is being replaced by the colors of remembrance until all I have left are the memories as I pass into the darkness. Yet as beautiful as the memories are, I still fight for the heat of doing and being. I don’t want the day to be over! Please tell me I can stop the sun from setting.
Please, oh please.
The body is beginning to betray me. Hypertension and diabetes ravish my organs. My knees hurt, I can’t walk far. Yet, in my head I still am young. I want to learn more, to do more. But it seems it is not to be. The hot heat of sex is being replaced with the warmth of smuggling and holding. That instead of love being confirmed with the passion of sex, it is now confirmed with the gentile caress of caring. The endorphin rush of the climax is replaced with the warmth of contentment. Yet I am not content. I long for the rush. Why can I not just accept. Why do I fight it. It would be so much easer to be calm and to enjoy the sunset. Yet I cannot. The sun is still above the horizon. I have some years left. I want and need to brave and happy.
How do I do that?
How DO I do that?
posted by SunsetMan @ 9:38 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
You need to let go of the "demons" that talk about - your age, your illnesses. You are as old as you make yourself feel.
Chose to live your life now and live it! There is so much you can do to enjoy life! Surf the internet and I'm sure you can find activities that will make you feel completely satisfied. It would be good if you could do this with someone ... try working on your wife too. Despite her condition, she can still enjoy much of what life has to offer.
Sorry, these are just suggestions from a too mature 27 year old.
Thanks for your thoughts. Writing the stuff down does cause me to think about it and maybe come up with a better plan for myself. Have a fun vacation.
SunsetMan
So beautifully and expressively written, you really show what it is to become older.
I can see it's not so easy to 'let go of the demons' as cooldestiny suggests, but all the rest that you describe so beautifully is so good. I think you have to deal with the demons and enjoy the rest. take care.
Melissa
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