No Future Just a Past

As a kid I use to set on the front porch of my granddad's house and listen to my granddad tell stories of his youth. He told the same stories time and time again. I was glad to listen each time as I loved my granddad. He would sit there in his rocking chair and smoke his pipe as we watched the cars drive by on the street. He rarely talked about what would be happening tomorrow or next week. I often wondered why that was.

Now I know.

I don't like to think and talk about the future as I have none. Well that is not quite right, I only have small futures not big ones. Maybe I never had a big future (lots of money, fame and the like) maybe all I ever had were small futures - but I had a big pile of them. And now what futures I have are short. Not much time left and what time there is is hard to use as I have a failing body.

What triggered these thoughts? Cleaning up and throwing away things. I realized that many of the things I had saved I had no future use for. None! Not that the things were old, not that they were worn out, not because technology had passed it by but because I had no future to use those things in.

Its a overcast rainy day and it may be affecting my mood. But the facts are still true.

Damn