My Mother 1920 - 2001

Its been five years since I was able to get my mother a Mother's Day gift. For her last several years I got her some mail order fancy fruit(because she enjoyed it), a card and spent time with her. Before that I would get things that I though she would like and she usually did. And before that I would often forget it was Mother's Day and to get a gift until it was too late so I just got a card.

Around 25 years ago she moved from LA to live near me. She bought a house and lived within a quarter mile of me. She was a very independent woman. During those years I would help her do thing she could not do for herself. And I knew not to try to do things I though she needed but waited for her to ask. That was the way she wanted it. When the house became to much for her to take care of, she moved into an apartment. Her first apartment was on the 2nd floor. When getting up and down the stairs became too hard she moved to a first floor apartment.

She developed Leukemia (CML). She refused to have chemo as she had watched her closest friend in the world suffer through six months of treatment and then die. She wouldn't even see a cancer doctor for any other options. Soon her red blood count was way down and the doc sent her to the hospital for blood transfusions. She needed another transfusion in a couple of months. She could tell when she needed to get another transfusion by how tired and weak she got. After a while the time between transfusion got down to a couple of weeks apart. She and I saw her doc and in talking with him we found a steroid she could take to keep her red cell count up. But the steroid caused her blood sugar to go sky high, over 200. To control the high blood sugar she needed to inject insulin. She would not use insulin because of all the bad side effects she read about in the alternative health magazines. However, the effect of not using the insulin was worst, it killed her. She continued for about a year without the need of a blood transfusion by using the steroid. But her body got weaker and weaker. She called me one day telling she could not get out of her chair. I rushed over to her apartment and seeing her in her weaken condition I called 911 and took her to the hospital. From there she went to a nursing home and in a few weeks she died. I never heard exactly why she died, but I think she died of organ failure due to diabetes.

I miss my Mother. She was always on my side. She always told me the truth, even when I didn't want to hear it. I miss her a lot. I feel so alone sometimes.