Honey, I'm engaged. See my ring.

Back when I was dating, I had four different steady, but not exclusive, girl friends that showed up for a date and told me she was engaged. One even proudly wore her ring on our date. All gave me goodby sex with three spending the night with me. I was happy for each of them as her new hubby would give her the financial and emotional stability they wanted for raising their kids. I don't think love was involved with any of the four women, becauses if love was there they would have stopped seeing me long before they got engaged. Three continued to visit me several months after their engagement. One even came over for a afternoon delight a couple of days before her wedding. She told me she wished she could continue to see me to have sex, as her husband-to-be was not very good in bed, but she didn't want to risk her marriage. One of the women called me about six months after her marriage asking me to come spend the night with her as she was lonely having just separated with her husband. We got together regularly after that until I got engaged.

I think there are a lot of loveless and passionless marriages of convenience out there. I know that at least two of the above were still married ten years later. I lost track of the other one.

I wonder how many husbands and wives stay together because of convenience or because it is easier to stay married than get divorced?

Women are like a safe

An anonymous comment left at http://alifemoreordinary.blogspot.com/2005/03/crossroads-and-thats-understatement.html
"... Every woman is a safe and no two have exactly the same combination. Figuring out the combination is the fun of a new sexual partner..." got me to thinking, wow what a profound statement.

I have been with a lot of women. Some you can spin the dials all night and can't find the combination. For some of the women the tumblers are loud enough that the combination is easy to find. Others are so quiet you never have a clue. Some the safe is not even locked. Others are rusted shut. A few have damaged doors that do not fit properly. Sometimes the damaged can be repaired and sometime the damage is too great. If you cannot get the safe open after a few tries, you move on. Sometimes after you get the safe open you do not find any thing you want in there and you move on. Most of the time I was not willing to put all of my valuables in any one safe. Some safes required too much oil and grease to keep working (high maintenance). Of course all safes require some maintenance to keep the door swinging freely. A couple of the safes the combination kept changing. What worked last week no longer works. Sometimes the safes are guarded by family and/or religion. Hopefully you can sneak past the guards.

Guys seem to have simpler locks.

So for you women out there, remember that most guys have no clue on how to properly open a safe. You will need to help them and show them which way to spin your dials.

Dumb Shit part 2

When I was a senior in high school, I was consider a bit of a math wiz. I got good grades, mostly A's, with out much effort on my part. Somehow I understood the underlying theory. One day Miss L ask me to help her with her algebra. I was very surprised as she was out of my league. She was beautiful, a cheer leader, only dated the best guys, got excellent grades, was the homecoming queen, and her parents had money. Now I was a bit of a loner with poor social skills. My parents were poor. Of course I agreed to help her. I spent a couple of sessions explaining how algebra worked, not just what to do to to get an answer to a problem. It seemed to me that most math teachers said what to do instead of why. After a bit Miss L did seem to be doing better with algebra. On our last session, because she never ask for my help again, we were sitting side-by-side at a table. She asked about a explanation in the text book that was in front of her. I put my arm on the table to point to parts of the text like I have done many times before. Miss L moved closer to the table and laid her breasts on my arm, turned her head and smiled at me. I continued on the rest of the explanation trying to be cool, but it was hard (take it both ways). After that she almost always smiled and spoke to me when we passed in the hall. Man, I was in lust. The best looking girl in school was interested in being friends with me, but I did nothing about it. Dumb, dumb, dumb

Looking back I don't think she really needed my help with her algebra in the first place as she was a very smart girl. She maybe wanted something more from me.

At our twenty year reunion she made a point to come over and sit with me and we talked quite a while. The sad thing was that life had not been kind to her in many ways. But the biggest shock was her looks. In twenty years she had gone from being a beauty queen to looking like a tired old hag.

It broke by heart.

I'm such a dumb shit

I got my first job when I was 16 at the local drug store as a soda jerk in the afternoons after school and worked until closing at 10:00 PM. There were three of us working the counter two jerks (wait staff) and a short order cook. In addition there was the store manager, a pharmacist and a clerk in the afternoons until 5:00 PM then just the manager until closing. The manager and I were the only males working late. The jerks and the cook wore whites provided by the store. The place to change was in the basement among the boxes of goods stored there. I changed in south side and the women changed in the north side with only the boxes for modesty. The waitress that usually worked with me was a older (to a 16 year old) single mother. She was probably in her late 20s or early 30s. The cook was probably in her 40s and the manager was in his 50s. One afternoon the cook did not show up for work. The manager came to us, the wait staff, to see if one of us would cook that evening. The waitress did not want to cook as she made more tips working the counter than the small raise we would get for being the short order cook. As I had learned "survival cooking" on the insistence of my mother, I volunteered to cook that evening. With the help of the manager and the waitress I learned the grill. I became the alternate short order cook and cooked several evenings a week when the normal cook was not there. We usually shut down the grill ten to fifteen minutes before closing in order to get grill and the counter cleaned up so we could leave by ten-fifteen. One evening, because of some late grill orders, I did not get to start cleaning the grill until almost closing. When the waitress finished cleaning up the counter area, she came by and asked if I needed any help cleaning up the grill and the grill area. I told her no, that I would be finished soon and for her to go ahead and change. In a few minutes I headed down the stairs, turned to the north side and saw her standing there in her bra and panties. I asked her what she was doing in my changing area. She replied that she wanted to see me changing. At that point I did not know what to do. She asked if I had seen a woman nude before. I answer n-n-no, stepped behind another stack of boxes, turned my back, changed my clothes as fast as possible and ran up the stairs. After that she often changed her clothes near me and would ask me questions about my experiences with girls. As I had none, I had nothing to talk to her about. One time she took off her bra and asked me if I wanted to touch them. I just turned red and shook my head no. After a while she gave up on trying to get me interested.

Boy, what a fool I was! It would be several years after that before I got another chance to be with a woman. Well there was another time, if I had known anything about girls, that there was a classmate that showed some interest in me in a sexual way. But I'll tell that story another time.

I just don't get it

Why is Life precious and quality of live is worthless?

Why is murder wrong but killing in war glorious?

Why is one race of people more important/better than another race?

Why is genocide bad in Bosnia and OK in Africa?

Why does a loving committed legal relationship between two same gender persons degrade a legal relationship between a man and a woman?

Why is it that the person who will comfort you in the death of a loved one with the phrase "they are in a better place" will demand that you keep a suffering loved one alive in this place?

Why is abstinence the only approved way to prevent spread of STDs when even Priests cannot be celibate?

Why is sex which you can freely give away becomes illegal if you begin to charge money for it?

Why is Alcohol and Tobacco legal and Marijuana illegal?


Does any else see these inconsistences in peoples altitudes and believes? Or do I just don't get it?

Earth Day

Θ Have a peaceful and cheerful Earth Day.

Passion in writing

Some of the blogs I read is to see how others think and live. It expands my mind like the joy of learning new things. Some of the blogs I read are for the passion displayed in them. They are like a good book that you can't put down. You can't wait for the next chapter.

One of the best blogs I have read had all of these thing and more. The writing was good. There was passion. I saw a different life through the eyes of another. And it tugged at my heart strings. What more could you ask for? What blog is this you say? Its
HeroineGirl - From the gutter to the stars.
Although she is mostly done with the telling of the story of her past, I am looking forward to the new direction she is taking her blogs and her life. If she puts half as much passion into her new projects and writing, she will continue to be a great read.

What about you? What is your favorite blog and why?

Relationships, they drive me blogy

Many of my daily reads are about relationships. They are about the interaction between people regarding love, and/or sex, usually the lack there of. There are a few blogs that the relationships are good. Some examples are:

The Odd Wife and

Never Ending Mom to name two.

However most complain about unsatisfactory relationships. If they are married and they are
wanting something. Some examples are:

Married Man Looking <(©¿©)>

StuckForNow

Some are married and having affairs. Examples include

Diary of an Affair

Will She Be Back?

Some are separated or divorcing. Some examples:

The End of My Marriage?

The Divorce Chronicles

Divorcing Forever

Some are single with kids:

Small Town Sex Blog

Deep in my mind

The young singles: (funny I don't have any of the very young singles that I read daily)

Sex & Moxie-Saucy Tales of A Single Girl in The City

boobs and legs...

temporary and/or multiple relationships:

kntconfessions.blog-city.com

PUSSY TALES

Just One Bite: Indulge. I won't tell.

Then there are the paid relationships:

Mercurial Girl

A New York Escorts Confessions

The above are not the all or even the best of the relationship bolgs I read, just a sample. Of course I read other topics also. Altogether I try to read about 80 blogs every day or two. But the postings and blogs I like the best are about relationships. Why? Well the passion of the writing just comes through and gets me hooked.

What about you? What are your favorite reading topics?

Where have all the Blogers gone?

Sung to the tune
"Where have all the flowers gone?"
by Pete Seeger

Where have all the Blogers gone?
Long time writing.
Where have all the Blogers gone?
Long time I've read.
Where have all the Blogers gone?
I enjoyed them every one.
Why did they go away?
Why did they go away?

I understand that a new blog is created every three seconds. I wonder how often a blog stops?

Some writers just stop posting. Their blog is still there for all to read but no new posting. I wonder what happen to them. I hope nothing bad. One such blog, that I read, the writer was in a auto crash and could not post for awhile. So now I know she is still alive. But the rest?

Other writer's last post let us know why they are stopping. Some leave the whole blog in place while others leave just the last posting and delete all of their old writings. A few leave a last message for a few days and then all of the blog disappears. At least their regular readers know what has happen to them.

Some blogs just disappear. You read them one day and the next day they're gone. I'm sure they are still alive. I mean does anyone leave instructions in their Will to delete their blog?

So it begs the question, Do the Bloggers owe us a reason for stopping?

From a selfish point of view I want them to leave a reason as I want closure. To many of the bloggers I would like to be able to say goodby and thanks for a good read. I also hate being left hanging.

Oh well, such is life.

Why I'm retired

Short answer:
Medical reasons, high blood pressure.

Long answer:
A long time ago the Docs diagnosed me with having hypertension. I was given meds to reduce my blood pressure. However, the meds caused me to have less drive and to think slower and not as well. I felt as though I was a bit drunk, that is as in impaired, but without the buzz. I tried different meds and classes of meds. All give me the same result. I tried very low doses to try to creep up on an effective dose. This did not work. The Docs could not understand why I responded to the meds in this manner. Tests showed that the walls of my heart were thicken due to pumping against the higher pressure. I just had to take the meds as my bp was 210/100, stroke levels. I went on a low dose, just enough to keep my bp from rising any more. My performance as a teacher was called into question while I was on the meds. I had to do something. I looked into to a medical leave but I did not know how long I needed to get used to the meds. So I looked into early retirement. Assuming a much less active life style and the reduction in expenses due to not working, I would have enough money to get by. So I retired.

8 to 10 Years

I figure that I have 8 to 10 years of viable living left. Maybe less, seeing as I have diabetes. So I guess I will plan on 5 years. So what is in my 5 year plan?

1. I will stay in my current marriage as there is caring for each other. Who else will I get to wipe the drool from my lips when I get unable to take care of myself. Is this not part of the marriage contract? I don’t have the time or energy for a divorce and to find someone new.

2. I will move in the next year or two to the same town in which my oldest son lives. As he can drive me around when I have to give up driving. BTW, he has agreed to do this.

3. Throw away the stuff I have been keeping for “just in case.” As my life winds down, I am less and less likely to need this stuff. Like when will I need a Win95 boot diskette. But I do feel that I am throwing myself away. Men tend to identify themselves with their job, which I no longer have, and/or with their possessions.

4. Lose some weight. I have already lost about 25 pounds in the last 6 months and still need to lose more. To get to my high school weight I need to lose 60 lb, however I will be happy with losing another 25 lbs. The 25lbs I did lose enabled me to drop 2 of the 5 high blood pressure meds which is saving me a couple of hundred dollars a month.

5. Keep up with computer technology. I have a Win98, A-Plus and Net-Plus certificates. I need to go ahead and get my Win XP certificate and maybe some others.

6. ...

I’m sure there are more items to add to this list, but this is all I can think of for right now.

SunsetMan

I am just a man who is looking at the sunset of my life. The blazing daytime heat is being replaced with the coming coolness of the evening. The colors of the western sky are the memories of my life, the reds of hot times, the blues of good times. As the sun sinks into the night, the heat of doing is being replaced by the colors of remembrance until all I have left are the memories as I pass into the darkness. Yet as beautiful as the memories are, I still fight for the heat of doing and being. I don’t want the day to be over! Please tell me I can stop the sun from setting.

Please, oh please.

The body is beginning to betray me. Hypertension and diabetes ravish my organs. My knees hurt, I can’t walk far. Yet, in my head I still am young. I want to learn more, to do more. But it seems it is not to be. The hot heat of sex is being replaced with the warmth of smuggling and holding. That instead of love being confirmed with the passion of sex, it is now confirmed with the gentile caress of caring. The endorphin rush of the climax is replaced with the warmth of contentment. Yet I am not content. I long for the rush. Why can I not just accept. Why do I fight it. It would be so much easer to be calm and to enjoy the sunset. Yet I cannot. The sun is still above the horizon. I have some years left. I want and need to brave and happy.
How do I do that?

How DO I do that?